Ellis Starrett has four older brothers and an 8-year-old son. A transgender nonbinary masculine-presenting individual, Ellis has firsthand experience with domestic violence and previously did advocacy work helping survivors of sexual and domestic violence.
Ellis grew up in northwest Washington and eastern Washington and completed a bachelor’s and master’s degree at The Evergreen State College in Olympia. They have a unique and important perspective on compassion for boys and men that we want you to hear.
Watch or listen to our conversation with Ellis Starrett! [Video length: 26 minutes, also posted on YouTube]
“We need to create space for the full conversation. We need to create space for talking about men’s health and men’s mental health and support for men and young boys when it comes to domestic violence and sexual violence. There is such a void of dialogue, and I think it’s hurting everyone. But it has definitely hurt people that I love in my life a lot. And I see things even with my son as he is growing up…” — Ellis Starrett
Should Washington Have a Commission on Boys & Men?
During our recorded conversation I didn’t manage to ask for Ellis’s perspective on the proposal to create a Washington State Commission on Boys and Men. Afterward I asked Ellis in writing, and they responded this way:
“Men and boys face unique challenges in terms of mental health, safety, and support needs. While there is a growing awareness that men and boys are often the victims of domestic violence, sexual violence, and psychological abuse, the programs and services needed to support survivors of this violence are sorely lacking. One in five men are victims of domestic violence and one in fifteen men are the victims of intimate partner violence. Men make up over 40% of domestic violence victims and yet they receive just under 5% of the services designed to support victims.”
“Domestic violence is just one of the many issues that often affects men and boys differently than women and girls. Intervention strategies should vary from young to old, and there should be awareness building and resource sharing in gender specific spaces and educational environments.”
“The proposal to establish a commission for men and boys is an opportunity for us to start the conversation in our state about what it would look like to support healthy and safe communities for all vulnerable populations. It is an opportunity to acknowledge the service gaps for fathers fleeing abuse with children, for the boys whose would-be-mentor has discovered the lack of agency they have due to family circumstances or immigration status that leaves them more vulnerable to coercive violence, for the growing population of queer and gender-expansive men and teens who are navigating a world without agency, and the countless other men and boys who need help but have never been taught how to seek it.”
